I love black thongs
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize
