WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
