its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
