i love accidental penises.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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