eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
