you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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