I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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