Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
