O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
