First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize