There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
third nipple confirmed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
