barbara walters just said penis...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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