let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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