her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
