I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
