Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize