it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
