So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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