I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
