The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
