You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
