It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
