i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
