So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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