My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
