Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
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Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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