So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.