billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.