she woke up with a sticky ear
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron