I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.