I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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