but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize