I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize