Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
NoShamevember. You game?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
