i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
