i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
