NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize