I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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