I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
