no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
