your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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