If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
