I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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