Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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