I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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