my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
