But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
