She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
