Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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