Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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