he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
