belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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