I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
