Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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