The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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