I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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