i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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