and next time when you feel me up, do it right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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