I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
