You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
